5th September – Run 5 – 3.74 miles (47.23m to go)

I’m meant to be out every day, but on Monday, I wasn’t able to go in the morning, and the heat was too much in the evening before dinner. That meant getting up and out early today to finally get some miles in. I’m chipping away at the total, but it was a big challenge for me to get today’s run done before my day started.

I’m trying to talk a little about mental health as I keep this diary, and I realised as I ran that getting out that early was a metaphor I could include. What would the easy way out have been? Use the weather as an excuse for not going on Monday, but then not run in the morning because it’s not what I do. The earliest I’ve ever gone for a run is 10 a.m., and that’s for the 10k. Instead, I changed my routine, got up earlier and went out because I had to. I’ve made a commitment to run 60 miles to raise money for CALM, and I have to overcome obstacles to reach that goal.

Mental health is the same. Often, mental health issues are barriers you can hide behind. I should know – with anxiety, you use any excuse you can not to face up to situations or issues. I was once so terrified at sitting at a table with Lincoln City players at an event that I pretended that I’d gone to Brant Broughton rather than Broughton. I felt terrible because I wanted so much to sit with Keith, Gainy, and Morgs, but I was utterly terrified of turning up on my own and doing it. I put a barrier in place, and I hid behind it.

That’s not something I do now because whilst I still get anxiety (not that bad, I confess), I know now that hiding makes things worse, not better. Had I not run today, I’d be straying from my target, doing more damage than good. That’s worth bearing in mind if you’re struggling – sometimes, doing the thing you fear is exactly what you should be doing.